When is it Time to End a Relationship?
Relationships are about connecting. However, relationships become unfulfilling when both parties’ needs aren’t being met. This could include a number of things such as the need for healthy attention to the need for safety or trust. Unfulfilled needs leads to couples dis-connecting.
If you’ve discussed your dissatisfaction with your partner at least two or three times and there’s no effort to shift the behavior, you then have to ask yourself, “Can I live like this? Can I accept my spouse as he/she is?” If your answer is “no,” then it might be best to move on. A clearer choice to leave is when a person is abusive either physically or verbally and you know your safety is in jeopardy or your mental well-being is taking a beating.
If you believe you’ve done everything in your power to heal the relationship, then you should be able to leave with a clear conscience. But before that ask yourself, “What roll did I play in the demise of the relationship?” Relationships are two-way streets and it’s rare that one person is completely at fault when it collapses. It’s usually unconscious behavior (snapping at your mate, looks of contempt, controlling behavior, criticism, judgment, blame, etc.) from both sides that causes conflict, distancing and finally, tearing the couple apart. To reach this level of self- understanding you both may want to seek out a marriage counselor who can shed light on your individual issues. Otherwise left undealt with, the same issues will eventually show itself in future relationships.
Copyright © Sho Aoyagi 2013
These articles are meant to be informative and not to be taken as advice. Every person’s situation is different and the articles may not pertain to your speciﬁc situation.
Also, before dealing with any issue with another person or before attempting to look at your own issues, it’s important to consult with an appropriate professional for guidance.