3 Date Rule
Are you fed up with the Mr. or Ms. Wrongs? If yes, live the 3 date rule. It quickly screens those who aren’t a healthy match for you. Within 1-3 dates, people expose their red flags. It’s wise to move on when you recognize them so you don’t recreate another unsatisfying relationship.
There are obvious red flags such as the addict (drugs or alcohol issues) and the cheater, but here are a few others to be aware of:
The mimi--is a narcissist who doesn’t show an interest in learning about who you really are. They’re only interested in talking about themselves.
The interviewee--behaves like they’re applying for a job. They try to impress you with their resume of accomplishments such as their degrees, what they’ve done, who they know, or where they’ve been.
The interrogator--barrages you with questions. You may feel like you’re being sized up to see if you’re acceptable. By the end of the date, instead of feeling euphoric, you feel exhausted.
The drama queen/king--is in perpetual conflict. And if there’s calm in their life, they will instigate drama. They focus on what’s wrong in their lives and there’s lots of criticizing and blaming of others.
The control freak--isn’t flexible and must have it their way. They’re usually uptight and can’t relax.
The flake--cancels dates at the last moment or says they’ll call by a certain time and doesn’t. The dog walker--keeps you on a short leash by showing interest but nothing ever develops between you two.
The bouncer--can be fun but they’re wishy-washy and directionless bouncing from job to job or relationship to relationship.
The clingon--is very needy and require lots of validation. They can call too often for comfort.
The hottie, the baddie--needs lots of attention from people. They need to showoff to validate that they’re desirable.
These are just a few characters guaranteed to leave you disappointed. But the if you’re able to avoid becoming seduced by them, you’ll move closer to the one that’s right for you. The person you’re interested in shouldn’t be a project.
If you’re determined to take it beyond 3 dates because you believe the person is “different” than the rest, you risk wasting another few weeks, months or even years of your life. Can you afford that kind of time and the eventual emotional pain that comes with it?
Copyright © Sho Aoyagi 2013
These articles are meant to be informative and not to be taken as advice. Every person’s situation is different and the articles may not pertain to your speciﬁc situation.
Also, before dealing with any issue with another person or before attempting to look at your own issues, it’s important to consult with an appropriate professional for guidance.